"Here I go again, down the only road I've ever known....." Whitesnake sings this one and has a beautiful girl in a white dress on a hot car ;) Yep definitely an 80s child. That is about how long I've been on this back and forth adventure. I've been dieting....including crash diets, pills, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, you name it for the past 20some years. I've used the pregnancy excuse for too long...then again after 6 of them I honestly don't think I will ever get my boot camp body back.
So here it is July 2012 and I'm almost....a few pounds shy of being twice the girl I was when I got married....literally. This isn't something I talk about much, but somewhere in the past month I've had a "time to get started" moment.
I joined a gym way back in October of last year, then all Hades broke loose around here. I went off an on, but not regularly. I started in Feb. with a trainer, and then again still didn't go regularly. So March came around and we had our 20th wedding anniversary and then it hit me....so I started going to the gym yet again.
I still am not going as many times as I should, but I'm doing better. I'm working twice a week with a trainer and have been since April. I've managed to lose 2 whole pounds. Talk about not being a motivating factor. Yes a few inches here and there, but nothing like I wanted to see happen.
May rolled around and I turned 40. I was more depressed turning 30 than 40, but I can't stand who I am right now. I have no energy to keep up with my kids....al 6 of them. I've been outgrowing my clothes...and refuse to buy bigger ones. Yet I still haven't made that commitment to change....bringing me to today.
It's July already. We had went camping for a weekend and I had come back with more weight than what I had lost. I'm so tired of having to worry about everything I eat and yet I know that if I don't start making changes that will be how it will be the rest of my life. I know me well enough to know that I have to make small changes, a little at a time in order to make them stick....after all I've done this before and a few of those changes from the past are still here.
So this morning I've decided to make that commitment. I have decided that I will write about this journery/adventure/change for a few reasons. Accountability is one. If I write about it, and can read it...and share it then I will be more likely to stick a little stronger. Motivation, this will keep me going when I don't want to. It's harder to say I don't want to, or to completely go the other direction when I will be writing about it as well. As a reminder, I can reread posts and see what I've been doing, what has been working, and when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere to see the progress. I hope that this works for me the way that I see it in my head. Maybe along the way I can be an inspiration to some, or some can help inspire me.
I don't have an actual number or size goal...I do have a general one and that is I would like to be around 125-135 lbs again. At this point in my life it seems that it will be impossible to ever see those numbers again. That is around 90lbs overall. That is an overwhelming number to me. So I'm going to break it down to 10lbs at a time. I will be constantly losing those last 10 lbs ;).
Some of the changes that I have made already are:
I've stopped drinking soda daily. I don't tell myself that I can't have it because then I will want it. If I do get one it's now a diet Mt. Dew (because that is the only diet one I like.)
I've started making myself drink at LEAST 64 oz of water a day.
I've been to the gym at LEAST 3 times per week....and I want that to be 5 by the time I am finished...if not more.
Some of my goals are:
I want to be able to jump rope, and play with my kids on the trampoline without worrying about going thru it.
I want to be able to run again...even though I hated running I want to be able to do it.
I want to be able to shop in the Misses department, instead of the plus size departments of clothing stores.
I just keep telling myself over and over that it will all be worth it. I can do this I've done it before. I've got to learn to eat differently...that will be my biggest challenge. I am a carbatarian...and I don't like veggies. I don't care for meat that much either....so those changes are going to be harder probably then going to the gym. So please if you read this and have any to die for recipes for veggies or meats please share them with me. As well as any other tips....I will need the help along the way.
Change isn't easy, but it can be an adventure. I don't want to have to keep repeating this one over and over. I would like for it to become a way of life, a constant. Not just for my health, but for my family as well.
Thanks for listening to me ramble. I will be rambling more often.